The End of Summer

Last week all our students went back to school and on Monday morning I got in my car to drive to work and just took a deep breath. The summer was over. It had been a great one, it had it's challenging moments, it's laugh till you cry moments, and some crazy moments. But it was one that I definitely enjoyed. I really got to build some relationships with some of our students that blessed me incredibly.

In May my sister graduated along with a class of Seniors that left their mark.
June, July and August were a blur, it felt like I was racing through summer. Going on senior trip, new york mission trip, wow's, various little parties here and there, swoc, redneck holiday, camp and vbs. But when I think back to my summer one phrase comes to mind.

A small team of us were in New York, it was our first night there and we were ministering at a homeless coffee shop. One of our students got up to share her story and at the end she looked at the audience and said, "All my life I have fought for the world to love me and each time it has turned me down. I just need you to know, the world doesn't love you and it never will but God does."

I have seen so many friends, family members, and students in our ministry chase after the world. They pour their entire life into chasing things of the world in search for love or peace or hope and what ends up happening? They just keep chasing. Chasing after nothing. Over the past 2 years I've sat with girls in a flood of tears, I've sat with them as they have called parents to tell them things that have happened, I've sat with them and heard them crying out over and over again for the world to love them. I have seen my closest friends shut all truth out in order to keep chasing after the world.

So as I now prepare for fall I think back to the theme of my summer. Stop chasing the world. It will never love you, and in the end, you will always be chasing it. Instead, cling to truth and to a love that will never leave you or forsake you.

Until then. . .

Jesus Follower/Christ Follower/Christian

I recently read this wonderful thought on Abraham Piper's blog:

"Self-applying the term Jesus follower for accuracay or lexical variety is good.
Doing it to distance youself from other Christians is cowardly."

Dropping Stones

A couple of weeks ago I was at a banquet and the woman that spoke began to talk about the passage in John 8 that I think about a lot. You know it, it goes something like this.

Jesus has been teaching many people. All of the so called religious people come barging in (okay, that emphasis is mine) bringing in this women who had been having sex with multiple men. They bring this woman to the middle and begin to tell Jesus all about what she had done - as if He already didn't know. Then they started to talk about the need to stone her, because after all, she was a sinner. Of course Jesus didn't respond like they wanted Him to. Instead, Jesus bent down and started writing something in the sand.

Can you imagine this? He just started writing. He tells them that whoever is without sin in the crowd can be the first to throw a stone at this woman. Then... He started writing again.

Next the Bible says that one by one, starting from the oldest, they began walking away. And when they had left Jesus simply asked the woman if anyone was left to condemn her.

"No one" was her reply

He then says "Neither do I, go and sin no more."

Now, to be honest with you. I have always had issues with this story. Yes, all these religious people dropped their rock and walked away but that's what I have problems with.. they walked away. Sure, their plan was ruined and now they weren't stoning her, yet they walked away. I have no idea what Jesus wrote in the sand, there are so many speculations but for so long I wasn't able to get past wondering why all these people just walked away, they knew that they themselves were with sin. They just left this woman standing in the middle of the circle.

Then, after the banquet I began studying this passage some more and that is when I realized so much.
I realized the significance of all the people leaving her, of everyone walking away. See, in my small mind I wanted them to be like kids on the play ground and go and apologize. But when they dropped their stone and left her alone - she was left alone with Jesus.

She was left alone with Jesus. She was seriously at a moment of great significance in her life, for one second she was not being condemned by the people around her and she was left with the One who could give her life. Jesus replied "Neither do I, go and sin no more."

This story is not just about the fact that the stones fell to the ground which is so often what I hear people focus on.
It's all about life. She was left alone with Jesus.

Good Medicine

I'm currently sitting in a hotel in Florida. Our student choir is on tour and I'm sitting in my bed while everyone else in my room is out, and I mean out. But, as I'm sitting here putting off doing more homework by thinking about the events of today I am nothing but thankful.

As I think about the girls that are in this room I just think about the laughter that filled this room moments before they crashed.

The laughter that filled the bus.

The laughter that ran around the beach.

The laughter while we ate a Lamberts.

The laughter in the church we sang at this morning.

There's nothing deep or thought provoking about it. I'm so thankful for these students and I'm so thankful for their laughter.

A joyful heart is good medicine. (Proverbs 17:22)

Growth or Grief

There are a few things in my life that are changing right now. This last week was completely rocked by change with my Grandma's death. Whether these changes are small or large, they are still changes. Even little changes have the greatest impact on our lives, isn't that odd?

In one of my leadership classes I have to write papers every week and isn't it interesting that this weeks paper is on what my book claims is the ultimate leadership test: CREATING POSITIVE CHANGE. I recently read the story of Alfred Nobel in one of John Maxwell's books.

Alfred Nobel is the man that instituted the Nobel peace prize. But before this occurred he was a chemist, and he loved being a chemist and the study of science and physics and such. He made an extremely crazy ammount of money by inventing dynamite and other types of explosives used for weapons. When his brother died the newspaper made a mistake and accidently put in Alfred's obituary instead of his brothers. As Alfred read his own obituary it described him as the "merchant of death" and said that he was rich only because he was enabling murder in mass quantities. After Nobel read this he decided to evaluate his life thus leaving his fortune to establish the Nobel Peace Prize Foundation.

He understood how to bring about personal change and influence those around him. People once knew him as the "merchant of death" and now we think of PEACE at the sound of his name.

Change does not merely impact one person. As a leader how important that is to understand? But also, as a person impacted by change how important is it to understand that change brings growth. However, growth does not always come right away - many times grief must come first. Change has the power to equal grief and growth.

What are the changes around you? Or, as Howard Hendricks says "How have you changed lately? Can you be specific or vague?"

To Dwell

Brooke Fraser (an amazingly talented musician) has a song that has been running through my head all day:

If my heart has one ambition, my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
Til I only dwell in Thee

I'm finishing up reading The Pursuit of God and the more I read the more that this song plays in my head. Great book, if you haven't read it you should, but the whole idea is all about understanding what it means to live in the presence of God. Not just occasionally but understanding that as a Christ follower we can enter into the Holy of Holies.

That I only dwell in Thee. I want to taste and see, hear and feel.
How thankful I am for the curtain being torn and shattered.

It Starts

You may be wondering about what exactly I mean by Until Then Well.. what do you think of when you think of those two words? (I would honestly love to know)

Right now I am in what I call my transitioning stage in life. I graduate college and imagine I'm going to leave with this great clear direction about my ministry and instead I leave with this ringing in my head, saying, WAIT ON ME.

Wait? Really? That's my great clear direction? That's the life I have dreamed of while at Biola for the last 3 years? So, I have been waiting. During the first part of this life after college journey, I began to understand that waiting did not mean stopping. Waiting simply meant following in faith. (No, that's not the deep theological meaning I'm sure) Elizabeth Elliot is one of my favorite ladies to read and she says, "When you don't know what to do, just do the thing in front of you." That is my view of waiting right now.

That's where the words Until Then come in. You see, people always, always ask me to tell them exactly what I want to do. Honestly, it's not that simple. And see, as I'm waiting I do believe God is changing much of what I have imagined for myself.

I'm waiting - not stopping - waking up and doing what I know is right until God says to go elsewhere.
So, until then I'm waiting.
And until then I'm following Him, with a deeper understanding of faith.